"There will be haters. There will be doubters. There will be non-believers. And then there will be you, proving them wrong." -unknownFriend A: " I've decided to go back to school to get my degree. "
Friend B: " You're not going to be able to do it."
Friend A: " Why would you say something like that? I thought you were my friend."
Friend B: " I am your friend and I also know you. You never finish anything you start. "
Friend A: " That's not true. Besides this is something I have wanted to do for a long time. "
Friend B: " Whatever. I still think you are wasting your time. "
This scene has been played out millions of times in a million different ways in countless people's lives. It's the scene that takes place when you decide to share your dreams with the people in your life. And while many times the response to your dreams can be positive and supportive, sometimes the opposite happens. In the case of Friend A, she just came face to face with the "dream killer."
A dream killer is someone who tells you all the reasons you can't live your dreams. They may have a running list of why it won't work and why you can't do it. A dream killer will point out all of your past mistakes and failures as evidence that what they are saying is true. They may say you are crazy or naive and you may be accused of living in "la-la land".
The dream killer, if given the chance, can get into your head and feed all the doubts and insecurities you may already have roaming around in your mind. But sometimes the dream killer doesn't have to be someone else. It can also be you.
So how do you combat dream killers whether it's you or someone else in your life?
First, remember that people have the right to their opinions whether right or wrong. The key for you is to not let their opinions sabotage what you want to do. Your family and friends may have well-meaning intentions, but they are not expressing them in a way that makes you feel supported. Don't spend time defending your dream, that can be exhausting and time-consuming. Instead, listen to what they say, discard what you don't need and keep moving forward. The bottom line is that this is your dream, not theirs.
Choose wisely who you share your dreams with. When starting out on the journey to following your dreams, it's best to have people who are supportive and encouraging. Positive supports are necessary, but also have someone who isn't afraid to lovingly tell you things that you may need to hear. Also, include in your support group people who are on the same path as you. Surrounding yourself with like-minded people can combat dream killers. Like minded people can help you stay true to yourself and your dream. They can relate to what you are going through because they either have or are in the midst of pursuing their dreams.
If you are your own dream killer, remember your why. What is the reason you are pursuing your particular dream? Your dream killer thoughts are being fueled by fear. You remain in control when you acknowledge the fear, but don't give into it. Instead, keep your eyes and mind focused on the why and the vision you are holding.
And most important, remember that your God-inspired dream is the thing you have to do. God placed that dream in your heart for a reason. Staying connected to him on a daily basis will help you deal with the naysayers you come across on your journey. He will give you the strength and the wisdom to handle any negativity that may come your way.
********Have you come up against some dream killers? How did you handle them? Send me an email and let me know.
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