" A Failure of Courage"

" Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it."- unknown

A while back, I was watching an interview with the bestselling author Sue Monk Kidd. She was recalling her life and the decisions she made that brought her to the place of becoming a writer. In the interview, Kidd mentioned a phrase that resonated so deeply with me that I took to pen and paper to capture her words. The phrase was “a failure of courage”. She spoke about this in reference to her decision to put her writing dreams on the back burner for many years.

In the interview, Kidd talked about knowing since childhood, that she wanted to be a writer, but instead became a nurse, which she described as a safe and practical choice. The decision to become a nurse was her failure of courage because she was going against what she knew to be true; which was her deepest desire to write books.

When she spoke her truth, I recognized this was my truth too. I have always wanted to write for as long as I can remember. As a child everywhere I went, even now as an adult, I would carry books, pen, and paper with me. I am always writing something or thinking about something to write; whether it is a poem, a short story, an article for my site or simply putting my thoughts and feelings down in my journal. While I would dabble in writing here and there over the years, I never took the steps to make it a serious endeavor. This was simply because I too had “a failure of courage”. I was too afraid to tap into the dream God placed in my heart. And like Kidd I continued in a career path that was safe and practical. 

At one point Kidd made the decision to pursue writing on a full-time basis and she walked away from nursing. She has gone on to become an author of many books, some of which are best sellers. One of my dreams (yes, we can have more than one God inspired dream) is to become an independent, full-time writer. I don’t want to write for the sake of writing, but I want my words to mean something, to matter to those who read them and for my words to make a difference in their lives. This is the intention in which wordsbytara was created and it was my first serious step in combating my own "failure of courage".

Unlike Kidd, I have not (yet) walked away completely from my current career, but I have made the decision to work fewer hours and to restructure my life in ways that allow me to put more focus and take direct actions connected to my God inspired dream.Working fewer hours and making less money is not easy and I do struggle with doubt and fear at times but I feel so deeply, that I am now in a place where I have no choice. I have to keep moving forward on this Dream Makers path that has already been charted for me. I really can’t turn back even if I wanted to. I have come to believe that by continuing to make choices and taking steps that move me in the direction of my dream and not away from it, I will eventually get to the place of living in the fullness of my dream.

If you are reading this and are experiencing “a failure of courage”, I would recommend taking the first and most crucial step which is to make a decision. Once you decided to follow whatever it is that God is calling you to, everything begins to change. “A failure of courage” keeps you in a place of not being the person you were created to be. It keeps you in a place of not using your gifts and talents. It keeps your dreams locked inside of you and denies everyone the opportunity to experience what it is you have to offer. And while you may not be in the position to pursue your God inspired dream on a fulltime basis, you can still start making decisions and taking small steps to move in the direction of your heart's deepest desire.

The 12 day High Note Challenge is a great way to start taking those steps. Beginning December 16th, the challenge is aimed at helping you to say “yes” to your dream by taking daily actions and to combat the "failure of courage”. So join me in the High Note Challenge by signing up here. (The challenge sign up is now closed.)

I would love to hear from you! Send me an email telling me what has been your "failure of courage".

Watch the interview with Sue Monk Kidd here.

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